The Heart of Everything
by CJ Moliere
Summary: For centuries Rumplestiltskin has been a man raging a battle between the darkness and light inside him and has paid a high price for it. Now that he has come face to face with his greatest fear, he must decide whether to surrender his darkness forever or allow it to destroy him and those he loves. Prequel to Storybrooke Casino and Once Upon a Time In Miami and Vegas.
1. Prologue: Back To The Village Coward

_For the pain and the sorrow caused by my mistakes  
Won't repent to a mortal whom is all to blame  
Now I know I won't make it  
There will be a time we'll get back our freedom  
They can't break what's inside _

_I'll face it 'cause it's the heart of everything…_

~ Within Temptation - The Heart of Everything

"I've come too far for this. For them!"

"For your son? No. It's too late. Soon, that fine green smoke will fill their lungs and fog their brains. Not like the rest of this town. I'm not just going to take their memories. No. Because of their special meaning to you, I'm going to take their lives. And you won't do a thing to stop me. Do you know why? Because without magic, you are right back to where you started. The village coward!" Peter Pan taunted.

For centuries Rumplestiltskin had been haunted by the memory of the father who was too cowardly to be a true father to him, trading him for the chance to a child again himself, absolved of all responsibility and calling himself Peter Pan after the doll he made his son. As Rumple grew to adulthood he'd tried so very hard not to repeat Malcolm's mistake, failing miserably by listening to the words of a Seer and branding himself a coward by crippling himself so that he would not fight in the Ogre wars.

_I made the choice to get sent home...to see my son. _

And the magic he took to protect his son was what he chose over the boy when they lay over the portal that would bring them to this world, leaving him with a void in his heart that would never be completely filled until they were reunited. Now that they were, he faced losing his son again...and the two other people who meant as much to him, his grandson and his beloved Belle.

He grasped the binding cuff with fingers, tugging at it with what little strength he had but it would not move. He howled with frustration, gazing over at the sword lying on the floor a few feet away and picked it up. As he pulled back the sleeve of his shirt to slice off his hand where the cuff was secured he paused when he heard the voice of Hope from Pandora's Box.

_You have three sources of light in your darkness, Rumplestiltskin. Summon them to you now. Make their strength your own and your strength theirs. A bond in love and blood is strong enough to cross time and space to defeat the darkest of evils. _

He could see them all now as if they were in the shop with him. His son, begging him to go back to being the good man he'd loved. Henry, his brave and strong grandson who loved him in spite of everything he'd tried to do to harm the boy...and Belle...Belle the only woman who truly loved him and made him believe he could be stronger than he was.

Slowly he rose to his feet and tossed the sword away and walked outside. He was tired of being a coward, tired of choosing magic over his family and when he faced the evil inside himself and Pan he would do so as an ordinary man who had the strongest magic of all on his side, the power of his love for his family.

**Author's Notes: The theme song to this story is The Heart of Everything by Within Temptation and I feel it fits Rumple's inner conflict perfectly. **


	2. Part One: Becoming: Mother's Sacrifice

_You won't forgive me,  
but I know you'll be all right  
It tears me apart that you will never know but I have to let go_

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?  
Can't tell the reasons I did it for you  
When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you  
You say that I'm frozen but what can I do? 

~ Within Temptation - Frozen ~

The girl felt like she'd been walking forever. She sat down underneath a large oak tree and cradled her newborn son in her arms. "I'll never let them find you," she vowed. "And I'll die before I'll ever tell them where you are," she added as she kissed the infant's small cheek. He looked so much like her and nothing like his father, much to her relief. A stranger in the Enchanted Forest, Berenika thought she'd found a savior in Malcolm only the teenager and his charlatan of a father had taken all of the gold and jewels she'd sewn into her clothing to sell to support herself and sold them to gamble away or spend on their luxuries. Despondent, Berenika went on the run again only now she carried a child in her belly and sensed her pursuers had somehow arrived in the Enchanted Forest. Their powers, as strong as her own, would be able to sense the presence of a new member of their bloodline, one whose powers would be stronger than theirs if he learned how to use them. She could not let that happen.

Berenika reached around her neck and removed the ruby pendant she wore. It was the only piece of jewelry Malcolm and his father hadn't stolen because she'd disguised its appearance. To her pursuers Aramon's Talisman was a powerful weapon as it had the ability to render any magical user the wearer chose powerless temporarily and could also be used to remove their magic permanently if held to the victim's heart. She pressed the talisman against her son's chest, over his heart where his magic lay dormant.

"Rumplestiltskin," she murmured. The ruby glowed as it removed the child's magic. The only stone that could restore the child's magic or remove the talisman's spell was the emerald hidden in a secure location in her land. Her pursuers began their search for it once they realized she had the talisman in her possession for as long as she wore it, she had another defense if her own magic failed her. The task completed, she refastened the talisman around her neck and stood up. It was not much farther to the small cottage Malcolm called home. It grieved her that she had to place her son in his custody but she held onto the hope that once he saw his son, he would change his ways and be a good father to the boy.

A chill went down her spine as she sensed her pursuers were close by. She conjured a basket and placed the baby inside, covering him with a blanket then conjured a letter to Malcolm explaining that they boy was his son and signed it with the false name she'd given him when they met.

_This is your son. His name is Rumplestiltskin. Please take care of him. You are all he has now. _

_Marika _

"Goodbye my Rumple, my precious one. I am hoping one day we will meet again and you will forgive me but I fear it may be too late for me." She kissed the baby's small cheek and knocked on the door before vanished in a cloud of purple smoke.

Malcolm opened the door and glanced down to see a basket on the doorstep. He pulled back the blanket and saw an infant inside, a letter pinned to the blanket. He unfolded it and read the words, unable to believe what he was seeing was real. A child? How could he have a child? He was still one himself and an orphan at that. His father was killed in a tavern two months earlier by one of the villagers outraged over being cheated out of his hard earned money by his and Malcolm's card scheme. The sheriff was also on the lookout for young Malcolm and if he didn't pack up and leave soon he was going to end up dead just like his father.

He looked at the baby again. There was no sense in denying the child was his...it had his look about him even though it was probably no more than a few days old. He picked up the basket and walked down to the orphanage. The matron opened the door and glared at him.

"What brings you here, scum?" she demanded angrily knowing well the boy's reputation...and his late father's.

"I found this on my doorstep and I thought you should have it." he said as he attempted to hand the basket to her.

"You won't be pawning your bastard off on me, scum!" she yelled. "If you'd kept it in your britches you wouldn't have it, now would you? And don't even think about dropping it off anywhere else in this town because it'll end up right back on yours. Now go on with you!" She slammed the door shut.

Malcolm groaned with frustration and started walking back to the house, laughing bitterly. "Well, you old son of a bitch, I bet you're enjoying this. Got myself in the same damned trap you did. Raising a babe without a mother. And what the hell kind of name is Rumplestilt..oh never mind? Oh well, guess I'll have to call it Rumple. Damn that witch! If I ever find her, I'll beat her within an inch of her life for this!"

Out in the forest a group of riders on horseback came to a stop in a clearing. Two of them dismounted just as a cloud of magenta smoke appeared before them taking the form of a black haired woman with grey skin and golden eyes. They bowed to her.

"Have you located her?" she demanded.

"No, Dark One but she is here…and she has given birth…"

"I think it's time to have a little chat with our prisoner. Bring him!"

The two soldiers dragged a haggard looking man over to where their mistress stood and threw him to the ground at her feet. He kneeled and raised his palm. There was an eye in the center of it. She reached into the seer's chest and pulled out his heart, squeezing tightly.

"Where is she!" she snarled.

"Right here Zorinda!" the girl called out as she appeared behind her. The Dark One sneered as she turned to face the spoiled brat she once called a twin. "Let him go."

"As you wish," the Dark One murmured and crushed the heart into dust. "Dispose of that," she commanded her soldiers, gesturing to the seer's corpse. "My sister and I have some matters to attend to."

They marched away dragging the corpse behind them. The two sorceresses faced each other. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this," the Dark One snarled. "Once I'm done with you I'll find that bastard you've spawned and crush him into dust too."

"You'll never find him," Berenika taunted and pulled the ruby pendant out of the collar of her dress. "Zorinda," she chanted, waiting for the ruby's magic to work. Zorinda giggled and pulled a pendant out of her own gown. Berenika gasped.

"You aren't the only one who knows its hiding place now, sister dearie. Mother thought she was so clever to hide that knowledge in her heart's memories but all I had to do was...dig it out." The Dark One waved her hand and the ruby pendant appeared in it. "Berenika..." she purred.

Berenika could only stand helpless as her magic was being stripped from her and her sister approached, thrusting her hand into her twin's chest to pull out her heart. As she attempted to access its memories a golden light shot out of it that threw the Dark One to the ground."

"W...What have you done?" the Dark One hissed.

Berenika smiled with satisfaction. "You should've paid more attention to your lessons, Zori. Even the Dark One's powers or the talisman can't break a protection spell on a heart's memories," she said triumphantly.

"No matter. I'll find your brat without them," Zorinda crushed the heart into dust and waved her hand. Her sister's corpse vanished. "Zozo!" she called to one of the soldiers in her command.

"Yes, Dark One?"

"Go to the village and search every house for a newborn boy!" she said.

As she mounted her horse Zozo patted his saddlebag where the Dark One's prized dagger would soon be. She'd hidden it well but Zozo was a clever man and all he had to do was watch in the shadows to see where she hid it. As he suspected it, she concealed the weapon in a chest given to her by her beloved father. Once the dagger was in his possession he would have the ability to control the bitch but he didn't want to control her. He wanted her power for himself and never again would he be a slave to someone like her. He would keep up the pretense of looking for the bitch's nephew for a little while but if the brat no longer had any magic he wouldn't be of any use to them. As for the damned ruby and emerald she had around her neck, he wasn't able to use the damned things...only those of Aramon's bloodline could use them, meaning her, the now dead sister and the brat, even without magic.

She tossed an object onto the ground and opened a portal that would take her back to their land. Zozo snorted. The trip could have waited until they were finished in the village but he knew she didn't want her precious daddy's charms within reach of one of her kin to be used against her. It wasn't one of her kin she needed to be wary of. Sometimes the worst enemy was one who pretended to be a friend and often the danger was not seen until it was too late.


	3. A Child Can't Have a Child

_Fly to a dream  
Far across the sea  
All the burdens gone  
Open the chest once more  
Dark chest of wonders  
Seen through the eyes  
Of the one with pure heart  
Once so long ago_

~ Nightwish - Dark Chest of Wonders ~

Oz (The Outer Zone)

Zozo stood over the corpse of the woman once known as the Dark One, Zorinda Strogoff, holding the dagger that once bore her name in his hand. As the dead woman's blood seeped into the blade, her name was replaced with his. He allowed her to return her father's precious trinkets to their hiding place before he struck. Had he not, she would have used them on him. The Dark One powers would not serve him well in Oz for there were other mages far more powerful than he in this land, particularly those of the Ozopov Royal Family, rumored to have been descended from the fairy goddess Lurline herself as had the Strogoffs been and his only other threat was now deceased. Berenika's brat, whereever he was in the Enchanted Forest, would not be a threat as long as he didn't find the ruby and emerald. Without magic he would have no means to get to Oz to reclaim them either. The Dark One tossed a token onto the ground in front of him and a funnel cloud appeared before him. He stepped inside and and closed his eyes, willing the storm to take him back to the Enchanted Forest. The other mages there were fairies and ones who learned the craft through studies of ancient texts. The normal humans would be easy prey for the darkest of all evils. If there was one thing he learned from the bitch Zorinda, it was how pleasing feeding on the needs of desperate souls could be and the Enchanted Forest was rich with them.

The Enchanted Forest

A small boy sat in front of the wall outside a tavern waiting patiently for his father to come out. Once in a while he would say hello to someone who passed by and most of them would look down, see who it was, snort in disgust and walk away, muttering "Scum" under their breaths. He'd been hearing that world for as long as he could remember but when he asked his father about it, he would just laugh.

"Ah, pay them no mind, Rumple."

"Why do they call us scum, Papa?"

"Sore losers," he replied.

It wasn't just the adults he would hear the word from, the other children in the village would say it too while they chased him away when he asked them if he could participate in their games and most of the time they called him a rat too.

"You're not good enough to play with us, rat scum! Why don'cha go down to the tavern with your papa and steal some more of our fathers' hard earned money!"

"I don't steal!" young Rumple protested. "And neither does my Papa...he wins the money in games...he said so."

The boys laughed. "You really are dumb, aren't you? Your papa's a thief and a cheat. The whole village knows it and he deserves to rot in the king's dungeon."

"Stop calling my papa names!"

"What're you gonna do rat scum? Hit us? There's three of us and one of you. We'd make mush outta ya! Go on, git!" one of them said and shoved the smaller boy. Rumple fell to the ground, striking his head on a rock. The three other boys stood around the unconscious child terrified.

"Is he dead?" another asked.

"No, but we better get outta here before he wakes up and tells on us!"

The three boys fled unaware that they were being watched. A cloaked figure emerged from the shadows and kneeled beside the unconscious boy, waving his hand over the child's bleeding head and healing his wound. The boy lacked magic but there was something about him that called to the dark sorcerer. Perhaps it was his unfortunate upbringing...the son of a thief and a cheat, the grandson of a cowardly thief and a cheat. Ah, yes, an unfortunate upbringing was the ideal breeding ground for a desperate soul in adulthood as he knew from his own upbringing and his desperation made him Zorinda's slave. Now he feared no one and that was just how he liked it.

"I wonder what it will be that finally brings you to me, boy," he murmured. "You may not have need of me now...but you will...they all will for this land is filled with desperate souls."

The Dark One chuckled and vanished.

"Rumple...Rumple...Rumple! Come on laddie, let's get going!" his father said as he shook the boy awake. Rumple rubbed his eyes and pressed his hand to his forehead, stunned when he didn't feel a bruise. Hadn't he struck his head on a rock earlier? He was about to ask his father just that when he realized Malcolm had that look on his face again, the one that the boy knew meant that there was no time for questions. The door to the tavern opened and three men came running out.

"There's that cheating bastard! Get him!" one of them yelled. "You better run you coward because when I get my hands on you I'll string you from the tallest tree in Sherwood Forest!"

As Malcolm ran, pulling his tired and disoriented son with him, Rumple spotted the three boys he'd been arguing with earlier pointing at them and laughing. "Run along rat scum!" they taunted.

When they finally reached the shack that was their home, Rumple could barely keep his eyes open. He was also hungry...his father had forgotten to get them something for supper again. Thinking he would eat something later, Rumple lay on his pallet and fell back to sleep unaware that while he was asleep his father left the shack and went back into town again, angry when the money he'd taken from the patrons of the tavern would be just enough to buy something to eat for himself and the boy.

_I'd have some left over if I didn't have him around,_ he thought angrily. _That bitch. Drops this damned kid off on me while she's probably living in a grand castle somewhere with whatever's left of those fine jewels she had. _

He woke the boy up a little later to eat. He wasn't much of a cook and the food tasted terrible but Rumple ate every morsel and washed all the dirty dishes. Had he not, they would've sat because his father never wanted to clean anything.

They'd been moving from village to village for as long as he could remember and always for the same reason: his father never could get a decent job and when he played his 'Follow the Lady' game in the taverns, someone would always accuse him of being a cheat. One day Rumple decided to go in the tavern with his father and watch him play the game. He shuffled the three cards around the table and flipped the middle one over to reveal a joker.

"What?" his customer demanded angrily.

"Don't feel too bad," Malcolm taunted. "You're not the only one who's been spurned by the lady tonight. She's been quite shy all evening." As he held up his arm, the customer noticed a card tucked under it.

"You tricked me!"

"What you gonna do?"

The man's reply was to deliver a hard punch to Malcom's face. As he hauled Malcolm up and shoved him against the wall with a hand around his throat and his other first ready to deliver another punch Rumple ran over to them and placed his hand on the man's arm.

"Please don't hurt him. He's my father!" the boy pleaded.

"You'd be better off without him!" the man said and punched Malcolm hard in the stomach. He fell to the ground and the man kneeled down, snatching the purse full of coins from his belt, an entire evening's worth of winnings that he wanted to use to have himself a pint. He assured the boy he would find a way to get back the money and sped off, leaving Rumple alone in the tavern.

The next day they traveled to a small cottage where the spinsters Moira and Tatiana lived. Rumple didn't want to stay with them, he wanted to be with his father. Malcolm assured him he would only stay with them until he got a real job only Moira and Tatiana knew this to be a lie. The man's reputation was well known even to recluses as they were and the poor child was better off without him. The only comfort the man offered his son was a straw doll Rumple named Peter Pan. The doll gave the child some comfort but the spinsters felt he needed more things to occupy his time. They started teaching him how to spin wool and were shocked when the boy proved to be a skilled spinner. It was his hope that he would be able to make money so that he and his father could be together.

The two women, difficult as it was, felt it was their duty to tell the boy the truth about his scoundrel of a father. Although he was a skilled wool spinner even at sunch a young age, his father's tarnished reputation would make earning a good living difficult for the boy once he became an adult. The only solution they had was a magic bean they found one day yet had no use for. They suggested the child use it to go to another land without his father yet Rumple loved his father and the prospect of going to a new land alone terrified him. He left the cottage and went to the pub, confident his father wasn't there only to be disappointed to discover that he was. Heartbroken, the boy fled the the pub. Malcolm quickly caught up with him.

For a while it seemed that his father did want to make the fresh start he promised him in the place he called Neverland...until he became obssesed with wanting to fly. Rumple, terrified of heights, preferred keeping his feet on the ground and he was growing tired of his father acting more like a child there and wanted to leave. Then the monster came out of nowhere and seized him.

"A child can't have a child, Rumple," his father said as the shadow held him in the air. Rumple screamed in terror, trying to reach for his father. The shadow flew higher and the doll Rumple held in his hand fell to the ground, gesturing to his father who was no longer a man anymore but the child he wanted to be. Then the two of them flew out out of Neverland. The shadow said nothing as it dropped the child at the doorstep of the spinters' home and disappeared. He reached for the knocker with a trembling hand and tapped it against the door. As soon as the women saw the weeping boy on their doorstop, they helped him inside and put him to bed promising him he would always have a home with them. As he lay there, he realized his benefactors had been right after all...he was better off without his father and he never wanted to hear the name Pater Pan again. His doll was gone forever...just like his father.

Storybrooke, Maine

Centuries later...

_I should have listened to Tati and Moira and used the bean myself,_ Rumple thought as he walked down the street in search of his father. The bastard was around somewhere and he was certain he was looking for Henry, Bae and Belle to harm them in some other way before his damned curse did its work.

_The Dark One and Peter Pan. We are the two darkest evils in this world and we both have to be destroyed...no loopholes. _

He finally saw his father standing in front of a group of people, three of them Belle, Bae and Henry as he feared, unable to move. He grabbed his father's shoulder and pushed him back away from Bae and Belle.

"Stay away from them!" he snarled.

"How about this? The worm has teeth," Pan taunted. "What, are you here to protect your wuved ones?"

_That is exactly what I am doing Papa. You don't know what that's like, do you? To love or be loved. It is its own magic, far more powerful than anything you can possibly conjure up. _

"I'm not gonna let you touch either one of them."

"Oh, I'd like to see that."

"Oh, you will. Because I have a job to finish, and I have to do whatever it takes. No loopholes. And what needs to be done has a price. A price I'm finally willing to pay."

He felt tears brimming in the corners of his eyes. It was time to say goodbye...for the last time.


	4. Escaping His Father's Shadow

Although the pain of being abandoned by his father never truly went away, Rumple grew to love the two spinsters and to him, they were his family. The wool the three of them spun together sold well in the marketplace and Moira and Tatiana had their hopes that one day he would become the most sought after wool spinner in the village now that his foolish father was out of his life. Unfortunately, his father's reputation shadowed the boy and he was forced to prove he was nothing like his father constantly as he grew into adulthood.

The only bright spot he had was the day a beautiful woman approached his table at the marketplace, interested in buying some wool from him. For Rumple it was love at first sight. He was so captivated by her that he could barely get his name out when she asked for it.

"It's...ahh...Rumple...Rumplestiltskin," he stammered.

"Rumpleshtiltskin?" she mispronounced.

He chuckled. "No, no...it's Rumplestiltskin...but ahh...you can call me Rumple."

"That name's quite a mouthfull. Who gave it to you? Your father?"

"No...my mother."

"Oh. Well...I'll take some of this wool," she said and picked her selection, their hands brushing against each other as he was putting it in the basket she carried with her. He lowered his head so that she couldn't see the blush in his cheeks. She handed him the coins for her purchase.

"Thank you...ummm..."

"Milah," she answered.

_Milah,_ he thought. Her name sounded as beautiful as she was.

"Thank you, Milah."

He watched her walk away, wondering if he would ever see her again. When he walked home that day he felt as if he were floating on air and was humming a tune. Moira was at her wheel spinning more wool for them to sell the following day as well as some blankets they weaved while Tatiana cooked their dinner.

"Well, it sounds like someone had a good day," she remarked. "Why Rumple...your cheeks are as red as roses! Are you ill, lad?"

"No...I..uh...met someone at the market."

"Oh?" Moira smiled. "And by the looks of you I'd say it was a lass."

"It was," he admitted.

The two women glanced at each other, grinning. Moira sat down at the table and motioned for him to join her. "It's good to see that you're finally starting to take an interest in the ladies, Rumple. You're not a boy anymore and soon you should be thinking about settling down and having a family of your own."

"You are my family," he said softly.

"Yes but we're not going to live forever, lad." She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. "Don't you want to get married and have your own children?"

"I don't want to be a bad father...like _him,_" he said bitterly.

"You are _nothing_ like your father!" Tatiana said firmly. "Because you have the one thing he doesn't...a good heart."

"Not according to everyone in the village," he said sadly. "Oh, they are polite to me in the marketplace and buy the wool I sell yet I can see the scorn in their faces...and I'm never invited to any of the festivals or dances. And I'll probably never see her again."

He was surprised at the end of the week when Milah approached his table just as he'd finished packing up for day, so nervous that he dropped his purse of coins. They both bent over to pick it up, their heads knocking together, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

"Oh! I'm so sorry...are you hurt?" he asked worriedly as he helped her to her feet.

"No, I'm all right," she insisted and handed him his purse. "I was hoping to catch you before you left for the day...I'm a bit late, aren't I?"

"Ummm...no, not at all. What would you like?" he asked, indicating the items he had for sale.

"I don't need anything today."

His face fell. "Right."

"I...I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to spring festival with me tonight."

He was stunned. The most beautiful girl in the village wanted _him_ to go to the spring festival? Him? He was the son of a coward and a cheat, an unknown mother, raised by spinsters and she could take her pick of men in the village far more handsome. Why was she asking him when she probably had so many far more tempting offers?

"You look shocked Rumple."

"Well I...ahhh." He cursed himself for his shyness. "I...I never go to the festivals and no one has ever invited me."

"Then it's time you did go," she said firmly. "I'll meet you over at the spinters house in the evening...say around five?"

"Okay."

She smiled. "Great. I'll see you then."

Moira watched from the doorway of Rumple's bedroom with a grin as the nervous young man raced around his room trying to find something suitable to wear to the festival and constantly glanced at his reflection in the cracked and faded mirror. She knew if she didn't calm him down he would not be ready by the time Milah arrived and would miss the perfect opportunity to be out among people and perhaps a woman he could finally have the family he needed. She went into her bedroom and retrieved the new outfit she and Tatiana made for him weeks earlier. He was still trying to get his boots on when he heard Milah knocking on the door. Once again he was at a loss for words when he opened the door and saw her standing there, a vision in a white dress. His hands trembled as he handed her the bouquet of flowers he bought at another market on the way home that afternoon.

All eyes were on them as they walked into the tavern that was hosting the spring festival. He knew what they were thinking: what was a beauty like Milah doing with him, the son of a coward and a cheat? Part of him wanted to turn and run while the other couldn't bear to leave Milah's sight. She started introducing him to everyone she knew, praising his talent as a spinner and a weaver while he remained humble. Still the word spread throughout the tavern that if you were looking for the finest wool in the village, Rumplestiltskin was the one to go to and soon he found that people were willing to talk to him more.

"After a while, people aren't even going to remember your father," Milah assured him. "Come on, let's dance!"

"I don't know how," he confessed sadly.

"No better time to learn then," she said as she pulled him out to the center of the room where the others danced gaily. He stepped on her toes several times yet instead of being angry, she simply laughed it off and playfully stepped on his. "There...now we're even."

Now for the first time he found himself thinking that he could settle down and have a family...be a better man and father than his father was and there was no other bride he wanted more than the woman he was holding at that moment. Being at the spring festival was just the start. From that night on, what time he didn't spend in the marketplace or at home was devoted to his courtship of her. Every morning she would open her front door to find a bouquet of freshly picked flowers on her doorstep and a note asking her to meet him somewhere. They would have picnics in the forest and he would present her with gifts of shawls and blankets he weaved himself. Her parents didn't approve of him because of his father's reputation despite Milah's insistence that he was nothing like the infamous Malcolm. Her parents were forced to change their minds when Milah started inviting him into their house. Although he was still a bit shy, it was obvious to both of them that he truly cared for their daughter. They'd been courting for over a year when he finally worked up the courage to propose marriage and ask for her parents' blessing.

Their wedding was a small, simple affair as were many in their village. He didn't mind. The only thing that mattered to him was that he could finally be with the woman he loved and one day their lives would be complete when she brought their first child into the world.

Storybrooke, Maine

Centuries later

The day before he thought everything he wanted was within his grasp...his son was back and had forgiven him, he would have the chance to bond with his grandson and fulfill the promise he made to Belle that they would have a future together. Now he was forced to accept the painful truth: he was a villain and villains didn't get happy endings.

**Author's Notes: I honestly believe that Milah **_**did **_**love Rumple at first, her mind changed after his brief stint in the Ogre Wars and that is how I will write her. **


	5. The Seer's Warning

Every village in the Enchanted Forest was gripped with fear as the ogres marched across the land, destroying lands, destroying lives as children lost fathers, wives lost husbands, and mothers lost sons. Every able bodied man was being called to the front lines to fight, so many of them not returning at all and very few of them returning barely clinging to life. In the small village where the spinner and weaver Rumplestiltskin lived with his wife Milah, every day was much like the one before it. They spent most of the morning in the marketplace selling the wool they spun and he was teaching her to weave so that she could make her own items to sell and double their income. They even talked about starting a family, holding off until they felt they were bringing in enough income to support a child.

One day Rumple was minding their table in the marketplace alone when a soldier approached him.

"Are you Rumplestiltskin?" he inquired.

"Yes. Yes I am." he answered.

The soldier handed him a scroll. The spinner unrolled it and read the contents, smiling.

"You will report for training in the morning," the soldier informed him.

"I must tell my wife..."

"Then do so."

Rumple raced home with the scroll in his hand. This was the chance he'd been waiting for his whole life. If he fought bravely in the Ogre Wars he would no longer be branded the son of a coward and a thief and he would at last be given the opportunities for success that eluded him all his life. When he opened the front foor he found his wife at work weaving.

"Milah," he greeted warmly.

"I'm almost finished," she said proudly as she held up the shaw she was working on.

He smiled. "Well, you learn quickly."

"I had a good teacher," she said and kissed him. "What is it? What brings you home so early?"

"Milah, my weaving days are behind us. I've been called to the front." He handed her the scroll. She frowned as she read it.

"The Ogre Wars..."

"I report for training in the morning."

"No, Rumple! I've heard the stories. The front is a brutal place." she said fearfully.

"Dear, I know, I know. And I can't say I won't be frightened. But this is the chance I've been waiting for. All my life. You know, I've lived under the shadow of my father's actions for far too long now," he reminded her.

"Just because your father was a coward that doesn't mean that you are."

"Oh, I know that. As do you. But to the world? Fighting in this war finally gives me the chance to prove that to everyone else," he said.

Milah beamed with pride. She knew this couldn't be easy for him but she was glad he was willing to take the chance. "Go. Be brave. Fight honorably," she told him offering him what little encouragement she could.

"I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too," she murmured as they kissed. "And when you return, we can live the life we've always dreamed of. We can have a family."

He was grinning from ear to ear as he made his way to the training camp. A family. There was nothing more he wanted than to have a child of his own. He didn't care if it was a son, a daughter or both. He would love his children and they would love him. They wouldn't have much in the way of material possessions unless his luck changed but what did it matter when you lived in a home full of love?

Learning how to use a sword and a spear was far more difficult than spinning and weaving and he was not having much success at it. No matter how hard he tried, he never could get his spears to reach their targets and his sword strokes were too weak. He could feel the commanding officer's eyes on him and imagined the thoughts going through his head. Still he kept trying. They decided to teach him how to shoot arrows and unfortunately he almost shot one of the other trainees.

"Don't worry about it. I'm a poor shot myself," one of them assured him. "Just keep trying and you'll get better at it."

The next lesson he had was at the catapult. He could barely lift the rocks to throw onto it so they decided to teach him how to operate it. He felt like dancing a jig when he managed to fire it without any difficulty.

"Looks like we've finally found something you are good at here, spinner."

"I'd like to keep trying the sword and spear lessons too sir," Rumple said softly.

"Maybe in the morning."

He was walking back to his tent when another of the commanding offers stopped him.

"I'm needed at the front. You guard this crate with your life." he instructed as he gestured toward a crate that was covered.

"What's under there?" Rumple inquired curiously.

"A prisoner that can help us turn the tide against the ogres. Careful. It's a tricky beast."

"Yes, sir."

Rumple walked toward the crate, curious to see what was inside until he remembered the officer's warning that it contained a tricky beast. He turned his back to it, following his instructions to simply guard it and nothing more.

"Rumplestiltskin..." he heard a female voice call out. He heard movement inside the crate and approached it slowly, fearing what he would find in there. What would the beast do to him? Would it seize him with his massive claws and tear him to pieces. He pulled back the canvas and gasped in shock when he saw a young girl inside...a girl who had no eyes!

"You're a child..." he murmured.

The child tilted her head and gestured toward the bucket at his feet. "Please. I haven't had a sip in days."

He was stunned. How could the child know there was a bucket of water there when she had no eyes? And how did she know his name?

"How do you know my name?" he asked.

"I'm a Seer. I see all," the child explained.

"No, no, no, that's not possible. You must have overheard someone speak."

She held up her hand with a bright blue eye in the center. "Rumplestiltskin, the son of a coward, raised by spinsters, scared of ending up just like his father. Did I overhear that? I told you. I see all, even what is yet to pass."

"You mean the future? You can see the future?" Rumple inquired curiously.

"Indeed I can, including yours," she replied.

" No, no, no. I won't indulge this... dark magic."

He'd had enough experience with magic to last a lifetime, magic that came in the form of the bean he'd used to take himself and his father to Neverland thinking that they could start over, only he'd been abandoned and his father was now a child again. No good would ever come from magic.

"Even if what I see concerns your wife? Milah?"

He flinched. Oh, this girl was a tricky one all right, knowing exactly what to say. He could hear a warning voice in his head telling him to just put the canvas back over the create and walk away while another, stronger voice spoke.

_Listen to her. _

"Why? Has something happened to her?" he demanded.

The seer once again asked for water. He handed her a cup and asked her to explain herself, stunned when she informed him Milah was with child. He certainly knew it was possible but how could he believe this creature. Surely she was only telling him what he wanted to hear in exchange for comfort or possibly to escape her confinement. What she said next sent a bitter chill through his bones.

"Your wife will bear you a son, but your actions on the battlefield will leave him fatherless."

"I'm gonna die? No, no, no. You...you must tell me how I can stop that happening."

"You can't."

"Then I'm done helping you!" he said angrily.

"For now. Someday you'll help me again."

_That's what you think,_ he thought bitterly.

"I'll bet Milah isn't even pregnant. You just said that so I would give you water, and now you're trying to trick me into deserting!" And that was one thing he didn't want to do. His father had been a deserter, not of the army but of his familial responsibilities...just like his mother and he would not repeat their mistakes. No, he would stay and fight with honor as Milah wanted him to. He would make himself a husband to be proud of. No longer would his father's shadow haunt him.

"You shall see. Tomorrow. When you see the army ride cows into battle, you will know I speak the truth," she insisted.

"Cows? And who's going to man the catapults? Milk maids? I have had enough with your fiendish lies."

"There is no escaping it. You will have a son, and your actions will leave him fatherless."

Rumple yanked the canvas down over the crate. "Crazy witch! Does she honestly expect me to believe we'd actually ride cows into battle when we have horses aplenty in this land?" he muttered and sat down. An hour later another soldier was sent to relieve him so that he could have something to eat. He tried to put the seer's words out of his mind.

_Your actions will leave him fatherless..._

The battle was over for the day and the survivors returned with the wounded. One man was missing an arm and he was added to the list of the few who would be returned home and Rumple was learning quickly that being disabled or dead were the only two ways anyone made it home. Their commanding officer returned.

"Fortune favors us! Fresh supplies have arrived from the Duke. Today, we will not be marching into battle. We'll be riding."

_When you see the army ride cows into battle, you will know I speak the truth. _

"Riding? Riding what?" Rumple asked worriedly.

"What kind of question is that? A horse, of course. Now grab yourself a cow and get ready."

_Oh no! No, no, no...she was right...I am going to die...and my son will be fatherless...just as I was!_

"I'm sorry, sir. What did you say?"

"A cow. The saddles we just got in—made from the finest leather. We call'em "cows." Grab yours, so at least the ride into doom will be a soft one on your backside."

Rumple paled.

"Are you all right?" one of the other soldiers asked.

"Yeah. Yes. You...You go. I'll catch up." he said quickly and the other man left. "Oh, no. So it's all true. I'm going to have a son. And I'm gonna die? Answer me!" he demanded when he approached the canvas and pulled back the cover. To his dismay it was empty. He shook it frantically then backed away with exhaustion. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a hammer lying out. 

_I have to...for my son. Milah, forgive me...but I cannot leave my boy without a father...not like __**he**__ left me. _

He raised the hammer and swung in, screaming in agony as his ankle breaks. The noise brings a group of soldiers running to his side.

"Rum! Hell's fury, what happened?" one of them asked.

"I...I..."

"I saw the whole damned thing!" another growled. "I shoulda known. Your father was no good coward and he raised one!" He shoved Rumple. The injured spinner fell to the ground.

"Is this true? Did you deliberately injure yourself?" the commanding officer interrogated.

"Ummm..."

"Go on...lie through your teeth, coward!"

"Yes I did!" Rumple moaned.

"I won't have a coward in my regiment." the commander snapped as he walked away.

"They should kill you and put your head on a pike!" another yelled.

"Oh no...once word gets out what he's done, that'll be a far worse punishment."

"Hope it was worth it, Hobblefoot! Go on, get out of here!"

Rumple began the long journey back home, fighting back tears as he used the broken end of a spear for support. Yes, he would be branded a coward but if the seer's words were true, he would have a son waiting for him at home, a son who would have a father. For that reason alone, he had no regrets. He arrived home a week later, overjoyed when he opened the door to his home and found his wife cradling a baby in her arms.

"What's his name?" he asked.

"Baelfire."

"A strong name!" he said proudly and sank to the floor in pain.

She glared at him. "Something he'll need if he's to live with the shame of being your son," she said bitterly, berating him for injuring himself. She'd heard the news from the wife of one of the other soldiers sent home, one who received his own injuries in battle, accusing him of being just like his own father.

"I am nothing like my father. He tried to abandon me. I will never, ever do that to my son. That's why I did this...for him. All for the boy. To save him from the same fate I suffered, growing up without a father!" he defended. She would hear nothing of it. She thurst the baby into his arms and stormed out of cottage. Rumple cradled his son to his chest, weeping softly. "Oh. Oh, it's all right, Bae. It's all right. Your Papa's here. And I promise... I will never... ever leave you."

Storybrooke, Maine

Centuries later

He'd given Bae life, worked so hard and sacrificed so much be a better father to him than Malcolm was. His greatest regret was the one moment of weakness when he let go of his son's hand as they lay over the portal, a moment he spent centuries trying to make right. Now just when he thought he had the chance to start over with Bae, he would have to let him go...forever.

_Oh Bae, I never wanted it to end like this. _

"I used the curse to find you, Bae, to tell you I made a mistake. To make sure you had a chance at happiness. And that happiness is possible. Just not with me. I accept that."

"Pretty, pretty words," Pan sneered.

"I love you, Bae." He glanced over at his grandson, who cradled a box in his hands protectively though he was immobile, a box he himself had shielded with a form of magic he never understood why he could use and no one else in the Enchanted Forest could. "And I carry a part of you with me...just as part of me will always be with you..."

A tear slid down his son's cheek.

Pan laughed.

_You won't be laughing long Papa, _Rumple thought then his gaze focused on the other person whom saying goodbye to would shatter what was left of his heart.


	6. Desperate Soul

_He feeds on fear  
He feeds on pain  
He rules again  
With growing hate  
He will guide  
Their faith again _

_No light in the darkness  
Is too small to see  
There's always a sparkle of hope  
If you just believe _

Within Temptation - Deciever of Fools ~

From that day on things were different between them. She banished him from their bed, forcing him to sleep on a cold pallet on the floor and barely spoke to him except in anger or to taunt him for running away yet he still loved her and he loved their son. He still went to the marketplace to sell his wool and weaving projects but did not earn as much money as he used to now that word got around that he fled the battlefield. He wanted to believe that another man in the same situation he'd faced would have done the same thing.

Milah's ill treatment of him hurt but not as much as her neglecting her duties as a mother. There were far too many days when he returned home from the marketplace to find his boy alone. He heard rumors that she was spending far too much time in the tavern like his father did, only she wasn't cheating at cards but drinking and talking with other men.

"Milah? Bae? I'm home," he called out, limping into the shack to find his son once again alone. "Where's mum? Well, she probably just lost track of time. Grab your cloak. We'll find her," he said when his son didn't answer his question. They found her down at the tavern playing cards with several men and drinking.

"Milah, it's time to go," he said gently.

"Good. So go," she said while the men around her laughed.

"Who's this?" one of them asked.

"Ah, it's no one. Just my husband."

The other man studied him, smirking. "Oh. Well he's a tad taller than you described."

Rumple was shocked. She'd been poking fun at him with these strangers? He would endure every insult she had to dish out...as long as she stayed and was a real mother to their boy. "Please. You have responsibilities," he reminded her.

"You mean like being a man and fighting in the ogre wars? Other wives became honored widows while I became lashed to the village coward. I need a break. Run home, Rumple. It's what you're good at," she said bitterly.

"Mama?" Rumple heard his son call out behind him, his heart sinking. The last thing he wanted his boy to see was his mother carousing in a tavern.

"Bae. You were supposed to wait outside, son," he said gently. Milah glared at her husband, rose from the stool and walked over to their son, taking him by the hand and leading him out of the tavern, glaring at her husband during the rest of the walk home.

"You enjoyed embarrassing me like that, didn't you?" she snapped at him as she lay on her cot while he handed her a cup of tea. He shook his head vehemently.

"You don't really wish I'd died... during the ogre wars, do you?" he asked sadly.

She sighed. " I wish you'd fought. Don't you?"

"I would have, Milah...but I couldn't leave my boy without a father and well...I'm alive, and I'm here with you, with Bae."

"This isn't a life. Not for me. Why can't we just leave?" she suggested hopefully.

"We've talked about that."

"You don't have to be the village coward. We could start again, go somewhere no one knows us, see... the whole world beyond this village."

"I know this wasn't the life you wanted, but it.. it can be good here. At least try, if not for me, then... for Bae." Rumple said softly. They didn't have much where they were but starting over in a new place would be just as difficult.

"Okay. I'll try," she whispered.

The next day someone knocked on his door with news that terrified him. The same men who'd been in the tavern the night before had taken his wife. He made his way down to the docks as quick as he could with his injured leg and fell while trying to climb aboard a pirate ship named the Jolly Roger.

"On your feet for the captain!" one of the men barked and pulled Rumple to his feet in front of a man he recognized immediately. It was the same one Milah had been drinking with at the bar the night before.

"I...I remember you, fr...from the bar," Rumple said nervously.

"It's always nice to make an impression. Where are my manners? We haven't been formally introduced. Killian Jones. Now what are you doing aboard my ship?" the captain asked.

"W- well you have my wife," Rumple stammered.

"I've had many a man's wife."

"No, you... you see, we... we have a son, and he needs his mother."

"And see, I have a ship full of men who need... companionship," Jones said and smiled laciviously.

"I- I'm begging you. Please let her go."

"I'm not much for bartering. That said, I do consider myself an honorable man, a man with a code. So... if you truly want your wife back, all you have to do is take her. Never been in a duel before, I take it?" Jones asked after he'd tossed a sword at the frightened Rumple. Part of him wanted to pick it up and fight while the other that reminded him he had a child at home spoke louder. He did nothing. "Well, it's quite simple, really. The pointy end goes in the other guy. Go on. Pick it up," Jones challenged. "A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets," he said coldly.

"Please, sir. What am I gonna tell my boy?" Rumple asked sadly.

"Try the truth. His father's a coward. Get this coward off my ship!" he instructed his crew members. They tossed the spinner onto the docks and released the lines securing their ship. Rumple watched it sail away, sobbing quietly then picked up his fallen walking stick and started back home.

"Papa? Where's Mama?" Bae asked him when he returned home.

"Mama's gone," he croaked. "Oh Bae..."

"You mean...she's not coming back?" the child inquired.

"No...it's just...just you and me now..." his father sobbed, drawing his son into his embrace. "And I will never, ever, leave you."

Little changed in their lives with Milah's absence. Rumple still went to the marketplace to sell his spinning and weaving projects and saw to it that his son was fed, clothed and had all the love he needed. The boy loved him, just as he loved his own father only unlike Malcolm, Rumple was determined to be the best father to the child he could possibly be. The Ogre Wars still raged and the villagers were more fearful than ever because the drafting age was being lowered every year. Now it was fourteen and in three days time Baelfire would be fourteen and once again, Rumple was forced to go on the run to save his child.

"Bae. Bae. Wake up, son. Come on. Wake up, son. We're going now. We're going now. Come on. Come on," Rumple cried ungently as he rosed his son from his sleep and they fled the shack in the dead of night.

"It feels wrong to run away," Bae said.

"It's worse to die, son. I'm not having you taken away to the Ogre wars."

While they were walking, they spotted a beggar on the road.

"Alms for the poor? Alms for the poor?"

Yes," Rumple said and handed him a few of the coins from the pouch he'd been carrying. It wasn't a fortune but he hoped it would last them until they reached a safe place.

Zozo lowered the hood of his cloak and grinned wickedly. It was too much to hope for. His salvation would come at the hands of the last of the Strogoff bloodline just as the prophecy stated. Although the man looked little like Berenika Strogoff and she'd removed most of his powers with Aramon's Talisman, some of them remained, lying dormant until they could be reactivated but they never would, not if he carried the curse of the Dark One.

_You'll never sacrifice yourself in the name of true love, will you fool? No, you'll fall just as Zorinda and I will...when another of your blood turn your blade on you in desperation to want what you have. _

'Are you sure there's no other way?" Bae was asking his father.

"Oh, I can't lose you, Bae. You're all I've got left, son. You don't understand what war is like - what they do to you." Hearing horses in the distance, Rumple attempts to move his son out of their sight. "Quick, hide! In the ditch - hide. Go, go! Go!"

Lord Hordor, the man who had been taking children from the villages pulled his horse to a stop "Stop right there!" he commanded while they surrounded the father and son. "What are you doing on the king's realm?"

"We have some wool to sell at the fair at Longbourne." Rumple lied.

"I know you, don't I?"

"What was your name? Hmmmm? Spindlehanks? Threadwhistle? Hobblefoot?" Hordor asked after his dismounted his horse, his men chuckling.

"His name's Rumplestiltskin." Bae declared proudly.

"Hush, boy!" Rumple ordered.

"Rumple...ah, the man who ran. Is this your boy? How old is he? What's your name?"

"I'm Baelfire and I'm thirteen."

"When's your birthday?"

"In two days time."

"Hush, boy!"

"Did you teach him how to run as well, Rumplestiltskin? Did he tell you? Did he tell you how he ran and the ogres turned the tide of the battle, and all the others were killed, and he returned home to a wife who could not bear the sight of him?"

"Please…" Rumple moaned, not wanting his son to feel about him the way the others had. He couldn't bear it.

You see, women do not like to be married to cowards," Hordor went on not caring how wounded the other man was by his words.

"Please don't speak to my boy like that," Rumple pleaded softly.

"It's treason to avoid service. Take the boy now."

"No, no, no, no! What do you want?" Rumple asked frantically.

"What do I want? You have no money, no influence, no land, no title, no power. The truth is, all you really have is fealty. Kiss my boot," Hordor instructed maliciously.

"I don't understand..."

"You asked my price. Kiss my boot."

"Not in front of my boy," he begged.

"Kiss my boot!"

_It's for Bae..._he thought sadly as he fell to his knees and kissed the lord's boot, trying to block out the laughter but his humiliation was not yet over. The lord delivered a sharp kick to Rumple's stomach making him fall to the ground,

"Papa!" Bae cried, coming to his father's side when the men rode away. They both froze in fear when they heard someone else approaching. Rumple's mind was at bit more at ease when he recognized the beggar from the road.

"No, no, no! No! It's okay. Let me help you. Let me help you home," he saidl

"Thank you, old man," Bae said politely.

"I don't have any money to pay you," Rumple confessed as the man helped him to his feet.

"I can think of another way. You just leave me whatever you can spare, and I'll find a way to be your benefactor. Come," he said, following the pair down the road.

_Foolish boy. You have too much of Berenika's goodness in you,_ Zozo mused. _And the boy is your weakness. To have absolute power you must learn the lesson that Zorinda and I did...you can have no weaknesses that can be used against you. _

His predecessor's first victims had been her own parents. She'd had Zozo and his men slaughter them in their beds while they slept then traveled to the famed Emerald City and eliminated their Ozopov cousins in the same manner. Now Oz was under the tyrannical rule of the Dark Witches of the East and West, Nessarose and Bastinda.

They returned to the shack. Rumple tucked his son into bed and set a pot of stew on the fire. He didn't think he was much of a cook but his son never complained and neither was the beggar, then again, Rumple thought the poor man probably hadn;t had a home cooked meal in a long time.

"Another day gone. There'll be no fleeing, now," Rumple said despondently,

"No. You need to find another way. You need to choose a different path," Zozo insisted. _And you will...it just won't be by choice. _

"Choose? What choice do I have?"

"Everyone has a choice."

"I'm the town coward. The only choice I have is which corner to hide in. I'm lame, friendless… The only thing I've got is my boy. And they're going to take him away from me. If they take him away, I would truly, truly become dust," Rumple wept.

"Not if you have power."

"You may as well say diamonds."

"Get a hold of yourself! Think. Why do you think that someone as powerful as the Dark One would work for a useless fool like the Duke of the Frontlands?" Zozo hissed.

"Tell me."

"The Duke has the Dark One in thrall. He's enslaved him with the power of a mystical dagger and on the blade is written a name – the true name of the Dark One. If you steal the dagger, then you would control the Dark One yourself. And then no one would be able to take your son away from you."

"To keep a man like the Dark One as a slave? No, I… I-I can't. I'd be terrified."

"Then, perhaps, instead of controlling the power, you need to take it. In the Duke's castle is a dagger with the name of the Dark One engraved on it. Take the dagger and_you_ control the Dark One. Or if you kill the Dark One with that dagger, you take his powers for your own."

"Then nothing would be able to hurt my boy..or take him from me?"

Zozo grinned. "Nothing."

The next morning Rumple set his son to work soaking wool that he wrapped around sticks to make torches.

"Keep that fire good and stoked, Bae. The sheep's fat needs to be liquid and get that wool good and soaked."

"Why are we doing this, Papa? This is good wool. We can spin and sell.."

"These are our keys to the castle, son. And once I'm inside there's something I have to take."

"What do you need to take?

"That old beggar? He told me a fine tale – about the Duke and his magical dagger."

"What does it do?"

"If I own that dagger, I control the Dark I kill the Dark One with the dagger, I take his powers."

"By god's name," Baelfire whispered fearfully.

"Imagine me with those powers. Can you imagine me with those powers, Bae? I could get to redeem myself. I could turn it towards good. I'll save all the children of the Frontlands – not just you, my boy," Rumple said excitedly.

"I'd love to see that, but if the law says I'm to fight, I… I can fight."

"No, no, no! The law doesn't want you to fight, son. The law wants you to die. That's not battle – that's sacrifice, son. You look at that red in the sky. That's not the… The fires of the battlefields – that's the blood of our people, son. It's the blood of children. The blood of children like you. I mean, what sane person would want to get involved with that?"

"So, it's true."

"What?"

"It's true. It's true you ran," Bae accused.

"I had no choice, son.

"And Mother? Did she leave you like the knight said? You told me she was dead."

"She is dead."

"So, what do we need to do?" Bae asked, sitting down.

Rumple kneeled next to his son as he worked.

"The Duke's castle is made of stone, but the floors and the rafters are made of wood."

"Why does that matter?"

"Because wood burns and that's were these will come in handy," he said holding up a torch.

Later that night the two of them made their way to the Duke's castle. Using the lantern, they lit one of the torches, setting a bale of hay ablaze. As the fire spread through the wood in the floors and rafters, Rumple entered the castle in search of his prize, concealed behind a tapestry. He took it from its compartment and limped out of the castle, into the woods where his son waited.

"Papa!" Bae cried, jumping to his feet.

"Oh, Bae."

"I was so worried for you. Are… Are you burned? The castle..."

"I'm fine, son. I'm fine. I need you to go home and wait for me there."

"Come with me – please. I have a bad feeling."

Rumple removed the dagger and held it up into the light so that he could read the name engraved. Zoso! Zoso! I summon thee!" He was disheartened when nothing appeared and lowered the dagger. As he turned around he saw a hideous creature in a dark cloak behind him. He gasped in fright and dropped his torch, backing away.

"You were asking for me?" The Dark One inquired.

"Submit, oh Dark One! I control you," Rumple comanded, clutching the dagger tightly in his hand.

"Yes, you do. Wield the power wisely. You can wield it anytime now. It's almost dawn. That means it's your son's birthday. I bet Hordor and his men are already on their way to your house."

"No, they can't take him!"

"You don't control them. You control me. Have you ever wondered was he really your child at all. Unlike you, he's not a coward and yearns to fight and die in glory."

"No..."

"What a poor bargain that would be to lay down your soul to have your bastard son. So, I ask you, what would you have me to do?" Zozo taunted.

"Die!" Rumple snarled as he stabbed the Dark One with his own dagger, gasping in horror as he recognized the beggar he'd been with earlier. "It's you. You are the beggar."

"Looks like you made a deal you didn't understand. I don't think you're gonna do that again," He laughed. "Just like her. Just like me."

"You told me to kill you!" Rumple cried.

"My life was such a burden. You'll see. Magic always comes with a price. And now, it's yours to pay."

"Why me? Why me?"

"I know how to recognize a desperate soul...and it was your destiny...the darkest of curse by a Strogoff shall be taken and through a sacrifice in the name of true love the curse by a Strogoff shall be broken..." Zozo mumbled.

"No! No! Stay! You have to tell me what to do! Tell me what to do!" Rumple cried frantically, seeing his skin changing colors as his name appeared on the dagger's blade, still soaked with Zozo's blood. Memories that weren't his begin to play through his mind along with knowledge, knowledge that he never had before...and power. That power would make sure that no one ever harmed him or his son again. He kept those thoughts in his mind as he walked back home, never giving a second thought to his dying predecessor's final words.


	7. The Sins of the Fathers

_Where have all the feelings gone?  
Why has all the laughter ceased?_

Why am I loved only when I'm gone?  
Gone back in time to bless the child  
Think of me long enough to make a memory  
Come bless the child one more time

How can I ever feel again?  
Given the chance would I return?

~ Nightwish - Bless The Child ~

The dagger in his hand, the new Dark One walked back to his village, determined to protect what was his, his son...and gods help anyone who got in his way. As he suspected that bastard Hordor was already at his house trying to take his son away. He raised the dagger and plunged it into the soldier holding the bastard's horse.

"Dark One," Hordor said and kneeled then looked up, not recognizing the grey skinned man approaching him. "No...who are you?"

_Perfect. Just where you need to be...on your knees...all of you! _

"Have you forgotten me already?" Rumple asked in a high pitched voice as the curse surged through him. "What was it you used to call me again? Spiddleshanks..." He snapped his fingers. "Hobblefoot!"

_Not hobbling now, am I you bastard? _

"Papa?" Bae asked fearfully.

"Rumplestiltskin," Hordor answered, now terrified himself. There was nothing more dangerous than a Dark One that had control of his own dagger. And there was nothing he couldn't do without a master either.

"Wonderful. And now you shall know me as the new Dark One. How about a little fealty? _Kiss my boot,"_ he hissed. As Hordor bent over to obey, Rumple grabbed his neck and snapped it.

"Papa, no!" Bae screamed as his father went about dispatching the rest of the knights with his dagger. "What's happened to you?" he asked as he stared down at the dead bodies around them.

"You're safe Bae. Do you feel safe, son?" Rumple asked. The boy backed away.

"No, I'm frightened."

"I'm not," Rumple said calmly. "I protected what's mine and I'm not afraid of anything."

"Papa...what did you _do? You took the power of the Dark One!" _

"I had to!" Rumple insisted. "I did it for you, Bae! I couldn't let them take you from me too. You're all I have!"

"Why did you kill them?"

"What do you think would have happened if I didn't? I'll tell you, Bae. They would've found a way to take you from me to fight in those damned wars and I _will not have it!" _

"You said you would end the war. You said you'd free all the children!"

_"And I will,"_ Rumple vowed. "Even if I have to kill every ogre that breathes to do it," he said under his breath.

Years before he fled from the Ogre Wars to make certain that his son had a father. Now he returned to put an end to them. Some of the soldiers who had been in the same training camp with him watched in amazement as he walked out into the middle of the battlefield to call to an end of the wars and the release of all the children. Several of the giants made the mistake of thinking they could simply crush the little human under their boots. A few flicks of the wrist was all it took to convince them this one was more than he appeared, changing them all into snails and crushing them under _his_ boots. Now it was the ogres turn to flee in fear.

It was a glorious day for the people of the Frontlands when the Dark One appeared in every village with a large group of children walking behind him. For those who had been injured, he healed what wounds he could with his magic and provided them with a comfortable carriage to ride home in and others brought home those who had fallen so that they could be buried with honors. All the insults given to the formerly crippled spinner gave way to expressions of gratitude as mothers and fathers welcomed their children back into their arms.

Rumple soon found himself in high demand. All hours of the day people were calling on him wanting to make deals in exchange for easing their burdens no matter how silly they may have seemed to him. Sometimes they didn't even have to summon him. Like his predecessor, he gained the ability to recognize a desperate soul and it wasn't always through their facial expressions, body language or how they spoke. They gave off their own aura that breached time and space.

He knew he was changing and his son would tell him often that it was not for the better. The boy confronted him about it after an incident where Bae had been injured by falling into the middle of the road where a man and a donkey were travellling. As soon as Rumple saw the bruise on his son's knee, he reacted in anger, turning the man into a snail and crushing him under his boot over Bae's protests. The people that once hailed the former Dark One as a hero for saving all the children now drew back in fear and warned their children not to play with Bae for fear they would invoke the sorcerer's wrath if he were harmed in any way. The only exception was Morraine although she tried to keep out Rumple's sight at times as well.

Still Rumple had his doubts that he wasn't yet powerful enough to keep his boy protected, those doubts fueled by the jumbled pieces of memories he now possessed from his predecessors...the first Dark One Zorinda and Zozo. There was one other weapon that could be used against him besides his own dagger and it was a ruby pendant that was called Aramon's Talisman. It had the ability to remove his powers forever if the bearer held it over his heart or temporarily. Fortunately both items were in Oz and he would make certain they and the last Strogoff would never enter the Enchanted Forest. His only option left was to keep his son safe at home.

He knew his son was not happy and thought that moving them into a larger home would be the solution to the problem, not seeing that the real solution was the same one he'd longed for as a boy...he needed friends. One day when he returned home, his son was missing. Furious that he'd been taken, he cast a tracing spell that led him to a nearby village where he was told that a pied piper was leading all the boys away with a flute made of magic that only they seemed to hear. Later that night Rumple perched himself on a rooftop and waited. Then he heard it...a song of loneliness and suddenly windows opened all over the village and boys climbed out, walking into the forest. He saw them dancing around a fire, their faces concealed by masks. He grabbed several boys but could not recognize his precious Bae emong them. Finally he spotted the piper. He grabbed hold of the man and snapped his flute in half.

"Where's my son, piper?" he growled.

"Is that what they're calling me," he heard a familiar voice ask and the piper lowered his hood. "We both know who I really am."

_No...no...no...not you,_ Rumple thought sadly as he came face to face with his now youthful father now using the name Peter Pan...for the doll.

"Been a long time, laddie. Glad you could make the show."

_Not long enough. _

In spite of all the power he now possessed Rumple felt like the frightened child he'd been when he tossed that damned bean that sent both of them into Neverland and destroyed any chance they would've had of being a normal family, if that had even been possible.

"Surprised to see me Rumple? I'm a bit surprised myself. Look who's all grown up and become the Dark One. Good for you."

"What are you doing here?" Rumple asked fearfully.

"It's lonely in Neverland. The only friends I have are the children who visit in their dreams. They can't stay. The boys I take back with me will."

"You're here for my son!"

"I am."

"It's gonna take a lot more than a magic pipe to take my son!"

"THe only thing magic about this pipe is that only certain boys can hear it. Boys who feel unloved, boys who feel lost. I guess that's why you can hear it Rumple. Isn't it?"

"Don't pretend you know me. You don't. Not anymore!" Rumple said angrily.

"Oh I think I do," Malcolm taunted. "Beneath all that power you're nothing more than an unloved, lonely lost boy! Hey, I like the sound of that. It's what I'll call my new group of friends. The Lost Boys! It has a nice ring, don't you think?"

_You're the one who made me feel as I did, you bastard and now you want to forget about me and take my son! It will never happen. I'll see you die first! _

"You can call them whatever you like. Baelfire will _not be part of it!" _

"Oh, he's already a part of it. The question is: what are you willing to do to get him back?"

_Everything. He's mine and I will not let you take him from me and make him into what __**you**__ are! _

"I'm gonna make you regret ever asking that question," Rumple sneered.

"Oh, I understand you're upset. Most parents' worst fear is that their child will be taken away from them but that's not yours is it, Rumple? No, you're not afraid Baelfire will be taken from you. You're afraid he'll leave. After all, being abandoned is what your good at, isn't it? Everyone you've ever known has left, haven't they? Like Bae's mother, Milah...your mother, _not to mention your own father._ Why should Baelfire be any different?"

"You're wrong!"

"Am I? Well, let's find out, shall we? You ask Baelfire if he wants to come to Neverland with me or stay here with you," Pan challenged. "if he wants to stay I'll leave and never return. Deal?"

"I don't have to make any deals with you!"

"But why wouldn't you if you're so sure he'll stay."

The truth was he _did_ have his doubts based on his son's behavior as of late. He walked among the dancing boys, still unable to find his son.

"You don't even recognize him, do you Rumple?"

"Well how could I when he's wearing a mask!"

"Well he might but wearing a mask but that's not the reason. Look at him. Playing with other boys out in the world. He's happy Rumple. That's why you don't recognize him."

Rumple approached his son and pulled the mask off his face. "Bae...Baelfire. Are you all right?""

"I'm fine," Bae insisted coldly. "Why are you here?"

"I know you don't think I care about you son but I do! And I'm here to prove it."

"How?" Bae demanded.

"Go ahead Rumple," Malcolm urged.

Rumple embraced his son. "Papa, what are you doing?" Bae cried.

"I'm protecting you," he declared, making the boy vanish in a cloud of smoke.

"You're gonna regret not taking my deal, Rumple!" Malcolm yelled as Rumple vanished.

"Don't touch me!" Bae yelled, shoving his father away from him. "Get away!"

"It's all right Bae.. You're safe."

"Safe? I was never in any danger. The piper was my friend!' he insisted.

"He may have wanted you to think that but believe me..he would hurt you."

"Why? Who is he? Another person that you abused with your power?"

"His name is Peter Pan. I've known him since I was a boy," he began, unable to find the courage to tell the boy the actual truth. He wouldn't have believed it anyway since it seemed that Pan had most likely told him terrible things to turn him against him. "Growing up, we were incredibly close." _As close as the naive child I once was believed. _

"So you're saying he's immortal too."

"He wasn't always. He went to a place called Neverland. He betrayed me, Bae. He can't be trusted."

"What happened?"

_He traded me to be young forever._ "All that matters is that I was fooled by him for a long time before I finally saw his true nature and it is darker and far more repulsive than you should ever be exposed to!"

"He can't be any worse than you."

_He can't be any worse than you._ Rumple felt as if the boy had taken his dagger and plunged it into his heart. "I had to protect you, Bae! I didn't have a choice!"

"Stop lying because I know that you did!" Bae hissed as he approached him. "I know about the deal Pan offered you! He said all you had to do was ask me if I wanted to come home," he went on, close to tears.

"He told you," Rumple whispered, cursing the bastard in his mind.

"He said that way I would know if you really trusted me. If you really cared."

"No, please Bae," Rumple begged.

"You didn't need to! I would've chosen to come home. I would've chosen you! If only you'd asked. Maybe we would've found a way to be a family," Bae went on, stepping away again and driving the invisible knife in deeper.

"We can be!" Rumple insisted. "Bae! Bae!" he cried. The boy ignored him and walked out the door.

Rumple sank down in a chair and buried his face in his hands. Oh, his father had set him up nicely by preying on his greatest weakness...the fear of losing the only person left in the world who loved him leaving him no other option but to strike the most important deal he could ever make. If his son found a way for him to be rid of his powers and go back to the man the boy once knew and loved, he would follow through.

One night while he was at his spinning wheel Bae returned home and announced that he'd at last found a way. With the assistance of the Blue Fairy the boy obtained a bean...a bean like the one that had been the source of his own misery years before...a bean that would take them to a land where magic didn't exist.

"A place without magic," he scoffed. "I'd be powerless. Weak."

"Like everyone else. It wouldn't matter," Bae pointed out. "We'd be happy."

"We could be happy here."

"Father, please. You're getting worse. And you promised! This can work. It can. You made a deal with me. Are you backing out?"

He thought for a moment. "No."

Later on that night they walked deep into the woods.

"Where are we going, boy? What kind of world is this we're going to? What kind of world is without magic?" Rumple demanded, unable to mask the fear in his voice.

"A better one," Bae declared, holding up the bean and throwing it on the ground, a portal opening.

"My gods boys, like a tornado!" Rumple cried, backing away.

"Papa, we have to go through!"

"No, no, I don't think I can!"

"You must. It's the only way!" Bae insisted, grabbing his hand.

"No, no, no! It's a trick. It'll tear us apart!" _Just like my father and I were,_ he thought fearfully.

"No, it's not. I'll be okay," Bae insisted, having never seen his father so terrified in all his life. What was he truly afraid of? Losing his power or losing him? "I promise!"

The portal expanded, dragging his son into the glowing emerald hole and they started sinking. Rumple removed his dagger and thrust it into the ground, gripping its handle with one hand and his son's hand with the other.

"We have to go through! What are you doing? Papa, it won't stay open for long, let's go!"

"I can't. I can't..."

"Papa, please, it's the only way we can be together."

"No, Bae. I can't!"

"You coward. You promised. Don't break our deal!" Bae yelled.

"I have to!" The boy's hand slipped out of his and he fell into the hole, screaming for him. Once the portal vanished and only a hole filled with dirt remained, Rumple gazed down at it, his heart breaking. What had he done?

"Bae! _Bae!" _he screamed, digging frantically in the dirt. " I want to come with you!"

But it was too late. His son was gone and it seemed that there was only one person who could help him. The Blue Fairy.

"You will never make it to that world," she said after she appeared and saw for herself that he'd stayed behind.

"I will find a way. There must be other paths." He started naming off other methods of portal making until he heard her gasp when he mentioned a curse.

"So it is a curse!"

"Of course you would think of a curse instead of a blessing," she said bitterly. "Your magic is only limited by its rotten core Rumplestiltskin. Anyway, it can't be done. Not without a great price."

"I've already paid a great price."

"So you'd be willing to sacrifice this world for the next because that's how great the price is."

"Well, what do you think?"

"Then I'll comfort myself knowing the such a curse is beyond your abilities."

"Oh, for now. But I've got all the time in the world. I will do nothing else. I will love nothing else! I will find a way. You took my son but I will get him back!" Rumple vowed.

"I didn't take your son!"

"You took my son!" he cried brokenly. "And I will get him back!"

"You drove him away," Blue hissed. Rumple lashed out at her with his dagger. She flew away.

"I will find him!" Rumple yelled at her retreating form. "I will find him! I _will _find him!" he chanted as he walked back to the shack that no longer felt like a home to him anymore.


	8. The Crocodile and The Pirate

_She was always good for nothing when the good broke bad  
All she's got to lose is everything she never was  
(Every back turned to her)_

We put her down in a shallow grave  
She wears a dress like a body bag every day  
And this way she won't have to run away  
And she can keep her regrets at bay every day 

~ The Birthday Massacre - Shallow Grave ~

True to his word, Rumplestiltskin vowed that he would do nothing else until he found a way to get his precious son back. Listening to local gossip gave him a spark of hope. There was man named William Smee who was said to be able to obtain hard to find objects...for a price. He could certainly pay that. He had more gold than he could ever spend in a lifetime and that should suffice. Smee conducted most of his business in taverns and Rumple sent word out that he was looking for a specific item...a magic bean hoping Smee would take the bait and be willing to deliver. There _had_ to be more beans. If they weren't in the Forest, they were either in Oz or Wonderland. Finally word got back to him that Smee was willing to meet with him. He went down to the tavern and waited patiently for the man to approach him.

"It really is you. The Dark One, in the flesh. Or whatever that is," Smee said.

"You've gone to a lot of trouble to meet me. You better hope I agree it's worth..my..time." Rumple said menacingly, expecting his tone to send a message to this wharf rat that he was not a person to trifle with...if he wanted to live to see the next day that was.

"I've heard you've been looking for something, and as luck would have it, I'm a man who trades in hard-to-find objects. Like a bean. A magic bean that can transport you between worlds." He said the last part in a whisper so that the others around them wouldn't hear. A magic bean fetched a pretty penny in the Forest but no one could pay the price the Dark One could.

"I've been told they no longer exist in this land."

"Not in this land, no. But the ships that dock here often return from far off lands with treasures they don't always understand. "

"And yet you do." Rumple said, ready to throttle the braggart.

"It's my job, as is knowing the rumors of who might pay the highest price for said treasures."

"And what rumors could they be?" Rumple inquired curiously.

"That you were once a great coward but that you became The Dark One to overcome that and protect a...a son who you lost despite all..."

Rumple was furious. The last thing he wanted to do was discuss his greatest failure as a father and unfortunately, despite how backwards it was, rumors did travel fast in the Forest and everyone now knew what he'd done thanks to that damned fairy. When he saw her again he was going to enjoy tearing her wings from her body and watching her crash to the ground. He waved his hand and the man fell silent. "It's not nice to spread rumors," he chastised. "A bean! Where is it?"

"I don't have it. But I can get it. I..I swear. You haven't heard my price."

"I spin straw into gold. Price shouldn't be a problem."

"Oh, I don't want money. I want eternal life."

_And so does every other fool but we're all not fortunate enough to get it and the price can be too high,_ Rumple thought bitterly and laughed mirthlessly. "Only The Dark One has life eternal. Tell you what, my son. What I can do, what about youth? Spin the clock back till you're a little boy again," he tempted.

"Close enough. Deal."

"But remember, you fail to deliver, I spin the clock forward and turn you into dust."

"Thank you. Thank you."

A young woman approached with a cup of beer on her tray. "You sure you don't want anything?"

"Where's my scurvy crew?" he heard an all too familiar voice boom out and looked up to see the wife stealing pirate himself in the pub.

"Ah! Here we be, Cap'n!" his crew members called out.

"Where's my beer?" Jones was asking his crew and one of them handed him a mug.

"You know, I suddenly find myself quite thirsty." Rumple told the server. She set a mug in front of him.

"Cheers." Killian clinked glasses with his crew member while Rumple watched.

Rumple took a long swig and rubbed his hands together, giggling. It was time to deliver a long overdue punishment for depriving his son of a mother and him of a wife. They may have had a chance had she not met that damned pirate.

It seemed that Jones and his band of rats were in the tavern half the night and could've cleaned the place out of alcohol. Fortunately for Rumple being the Dark One made him immune to the dreaded hangover. He'd had quite a few beers himself and wasn't feeling tipsy at all, just eager to have his fun once the pirate left the tavern. Finally they all stood up, paid their tab and started walking down the alley. Rumple conjured a beggar's cup in his hand and brushed past Jones to provoke him into a confrontation.

"Hey, you! Stop. Even gutter rats have more manners than you just displayed," Jones scolded.

"No, I'm so sorry, Sir." Rumple said in a deep voice

"Ah. I was wrong. Not a rat at all. More..." Jones leaned forward and hit the cup causing the coins to spill to the ground. He kneeled down to pick them up as Jones continued his taunts. "more like a crocodile. What's your name, crocodile?" Jones asked, kicking him with his foot.

_Showtime!_ Rumple threw off his cloak and giggled.

"You. I remember you," Jones said.

_Oh, of course you do. But I'm not that poor lame spinner you terrified before, now am I? _

"Always nice to make an impression. Where are my manners? We haven't been properly introduced. Rumplestiltskin, or as others know me, The Dark One," he announced and bowed, enjoying seeing the terrified look on the pirate's face. "Oh! I see my reputation precedes me," he said excitedly watching the crew members scatter like rats.

"It does," Jones replied, unable to hide his own fear.

"Good! That's gonna save us time during the question and answer portion of our game."

"What is it you want to know?"

"How's Milah, of course?" Rumple inquired.

"Who?"

"Only too happy to, uh, dig out the memory, but it gets really messy."

"She's dead. Died a long time ago. What is it you want."

Rumple froze for a moment, scolding himself for not being strong enough to fight for her. Perhaps she would have been willing to try again after all.

"We didn't get a chance to finish our duel," Rumple reminded the pirate. Jones got ready to draw his sword when Rumple raised his finger, making the pirate's hand pause "Ah! Not now. Tomorrow at dawn," he said with a flourish. "I am not a cruel man. Get your affairs in order. Also, you can spend tonight knowing it'll be your last," he added as he approached, pointing his finger at the man's chest and giggling. "Maybe I am cruel. And don't think about trying to escape, because I will find you, and I will gut your entire crew lika the fish," he finished in an Italian accent although he didn't understand why he used it when he wasn't from the other side and the place called Italy. Still, it had the desired effect.

"Fine. Dawn. Tommorrow." the pirate said bravely.

"See you then," Rumple laughed and vanished.

The next morning at dawn Rumple situated himself on an archway and waited for the pirate to return to the alley. When he finally spotted him, he tossed an old, rusted looking sword onto the ground. "Pick it up, dearie, and let's begin."

"There's no need," Jones said confidently and reached for his own sword and to his horror it was not in its scabbard. When he turned around, Rumple held the prized sword in his hand.

"Sorry, but killing a man with his own sword was just too delicious to pass up. Hmm?" he asked, crossing blades with the pirate with a skill that matched his perfectly. Ah, the perks of being the Dark One. "Ships that pass in the night. Well, at least one ship. "He threw him into a stack of barrels thinking that would be the end of it but the pirate wasn't giving up yet. No matter, he would just keep at it until the man tired out. Seeing his opportunity, Rumple struck, reliving the pirate of his sword and stepping on it as the pirate tried to pick it up and pressed the tip of his sword at the pirate's throat.

"Go on. I'm ready for the sword," Jones challenged.

"No. Do you know what it's like to have your wife stolen from you? To feel powerless to stop it? It feels like having your heart ripped from your chest. Actually, let me show you," Rumple hissed and plunged his hand into the pirate's chest.

"Stop!" a hauntingly familliar female voice cried out and Rumple turned to see his wife garbed as a pirate.

"Milah," he gasped and pulled his hand out the pirate's chest. "Milah. How?" he demanded.

"Milah, you have to run," Jones pleaded, glancing over at Milah.

No. I'm not leaving without you." she said firmly.

"Oh, how sweet. It appears there's more to this tale than I know. Tell it to me, Milah!" Rumple commanded.

"Please don't hurt him. I can explain," she begged."

"Tick-tock, dearie. Tick-tock!"

"That first night, when Killian and his crew came into the tavern, he told stories about the places he'd been, and I fell in love with him."

_Oh, __**did**__ you?_ Rumple thought bitterly. _So you left our son for this bloody pirate?_ In his anger, Rumple thrust the blade of the sword into the pirate's side.

"I didn't mean for it to turn out this way. I didn't know how to tell you the truth. I'm sorry."

"And so here we are. You've come to save the life of your true love, the pirate. I didn't realize the power of true love before. It is impressive. I'd hate to break it up. Actually, no. I'd love to," he said, plunging the sword in deeper.

"Wait. I have something you want."

"Well, I find that very difficult to believe." Still he was curious and decided not to kill the pirate...for now. He removed the sword, stunned when he saw Smee's hat in her hand. "Where did you get that?"

"You know who I took it from. I may not know what The Dark One wants with a magic bean, but I have it."

"Oh, I feel a proposal coming on."

"The magic bean in exchange for our lives. Deal?"

"I wanna see it first."

She led them all back to the pirate's ship, the Jolly Roger, barking out orders as she helped Jones onto the deck.

"And get me that prisoner from below deck along with the booty he carried. Now!"

"Bring up the prisoner!"

"Well, well, seems like you finally found the family you could never have with me," Rumple observed while Milah took the bean from Smee and held it up for Rumple to inspect.

"You asked to see it, and now you have," Jones said after she threw it to him and he caught it in his hand.

"Do we have a deal? Can we go our separate ways?" Milah asked.

"Do you mean, do I forgive you? Can I move on? Perhaps. Perhaps. I can see you are truly in love," he said the last bit with a touch of sarcasm.

"Thank you."

"Just one question."

"What do you want to know?"

How could you leave Bae?" he hissed. "Do you know what it was like walking home that night..."

"Rumple..."

"...knowing I had to tell our son..."

"Please."

"...that his mother was dead?"

"I was wrong to lie to you. I was the coward. I knew that."

"You left him! You _abandoned_ him!" Rumple shouted. _Just like my father, just like my mother!_

"And there's not a day that goes by that I don't feel sorry for that."

"Sorry isn't enough! You let him go."

"I let my misery cloud my judgment."

"Why were you so miserable?"

"Because I never loved you," she sneered. Now in a blind rage, Rumple thrust his hand into her chest and pulled out her heart.

"Milah!" Jones cried attempting to reach her. Rumple threw him against the mast and secured him there with rope. "No!" The pirate snatched a hook off the deck and cut through his bonds, falling on his knees at Milah's side. She looked up at him.

"I love you," she whispered to him.

Those three words were like daggers in Rumple's heart. His hand tightened around the organ he held in his hand, squeezing until it was nothing more than dust.

"No. You may be more powerful now, demon, but you're no less a coward," Jones cried in grief.

"I'll have what I came for now."

"You'll have to kill me first."

"Ah-ah! I'm afraid that's not in the cards for you, sonny boy," Rumple sliced off his hand that held the bean at the wrist. The pirate collapsed with pain. "I want you alive because I want you to suffer like I did." He turned to walk away but the pirate rushed forward and stabbed him with a hook. "Killing me is gonna take a lot more than that, dearie."

"Even demons can be killed. I will find a way!" the pirate vowed.

"Well, good luck living long enough," Rumple said as he vanished.

When he returned home with his prize, he smiled at the drawing he made of Bae on the table. "Soon Bae...I'll be with you again and I won't let go again. I promise." He pried apart the fingers of the severed hand angry to find it empty. "No. He tricked me! Follow the Lady..._Follow the Damned Lady!"_ he howled, knocking the table over and sending everything on it crashing to the floor. He picked up the picture of Bae and cradled it. "I'm sorry Bae..._but I will not stop looking!" _

Months later he stood in front of the house he once shared with his son, using his magic to make it disappear. It stopped being a home to him the night Bae disappeared. He would find a new home...the palace he once offered to give his son and would prepare a room for the boy, the grandest room possible.

Small fragments of Zozo's memories led him to a castle high up in the mountains. The Duke attacked the palace years ago and stole the prized dagger, thus gaining control of the Dark One. One of the areas that attracted Rumple's attention was the library. Fortunately he knew how to read. Many people in his old village hadn't but Moira and Tatiana took the time to teach him how to both read and write and he did both well. Now it seemed that he also acquired knowledge of other languages. Most of the books in Zozo's library were Ozian, written in the ancient Ozian picture language. That didn't surprise him since Zozo was Ozian. Still Ozian magic was the most powerful magic in all the realms. He spent days and nights in that library perusing the old texts, finally coming upon something that showed promise. He reached into his chest and pulled out his own heart. While every other heart he held was red, his was blackened from his misdeeds as the Dark One.

The heart division spell, considered one of the most powerful forms of Ozian magic allowed a person to remove their own heart and divide its essence, allowing pieces of it to be shared with those they held dear for strength and to locate each other across time and distance. Rumple waved his hand over the blackened organ, chanting the words that would activate the spell. When he looked down, his heart was still intact.

"I'm a fool," he said sadly and returned it to his chest, wishing that it hadn't been true that a heart plagued by darkness could not be divided, yet it was. He still had all the time in the world and he would not give up until he was with his son again.

Years passed and still he was no closer to finding a solution to his dilemma. He held a small ceremony celebrating his son's birthday every year by lighting a candle, holding his son's shawl in his hand. He still had the rest of Bae's clothing, preserved by his magic. He finally decided to seek out the Seer who caused all the trouble.

"I've been expecting you," she said.

"Then you know exactly why I came here."

"What I foretold during the ogres war has finally come to pass."

"Well, in a manner of speaking. I, uh, hobbled myself on the battlefield, was branded a coward. My wife ran way and left me. Then my son was called to the front. Oh! Then I became the Dark One... Then Bae left me. So, yes, my actions of the battlefield left my son fatherless. But... it would've been nice to know about all that pesky detail."

"Knowing would not have made a difference. You still would have been powerless to escape your fate."

Rumple giggled. Just... like... you." He reached out with his magic and started strangling her. " Now you know exactly why I came here."

"You want to find your son."

"Indeed," he said and released her.

"You will... find him."

"How? And this time don't leave out a single detail," he said angrily.

"It will not be an easy path. It will take many years... and require a curse. A curse... powerful enough to rip everyone from this land."

"Yes, yes, there's more. I know it. Tell me."

"You will not cast the curse. Someone else will. And you will not break the curse. Someone else... will."

"Tell me!"

"I don't know. Even my powers have limits."

"Ah-ah-ah. Not good enough, dearie," he said and started choking her again.

"If you want to see the path you must take, there is only one way." She held her hands out to him. "Take this burden from me."

"Mm-mm gladly." He took her hands in his and she began screaming as the power transferred from her to him. "I can't... see... anything. It's too much. It's nothing but a jumble," he mumbled.

"The future is a puzzle with many pieces to be sorted. In time, you will learn to separate what can be from what will be." She cried out again when he released her and she fell to the ground.

"This is why you wanted to give me your power—To free yourself from this torment."

"In time, you will work it all out." He started to walk away. "Wait. As gratitude, I offer you one piece of the puzzle. You will be reunited with your son, and it will come in a most unexpected way."

"How?"

"A boy... a young boy will lead you to him. But beware, Rumplestiltskin, for that boy is more than he appears. He will lead you to what you seek. But there will be a price. The boy... will be your undoing. The darkest of curses by a Strogoff be taken...and a sacrifice in the name of love by the last Strogoff the curse shall be broken." she whispered and fainted.

"So this boy is the last Strogoff. Then I'll just have to kill him."

He walked out of the forest with hope renewed. So it would have to be a curse after all. Now all he needed to do was find someone to cast it.

**Author's Notes" Next up...Cora! **


	9. Bloodlust

_Leave me be  
And cease to tell me how to feel  
To grieve, to shield myself from evil  
Leave me be  
OD of lies is killing me  
Romanticide  
Till love do me part_

See me ruined by my own creations

~ Nightwish - Romanticide ~

Time passed by, quickly for others, slowly for the man in the castle atop snow covered mountains known as the Dark One, for every year that passed was another without his precious Bae. Yet every year, on his birthday Rumple would go to his library, set out the shawl he made for the boy, a shawl he wore almost every day out on a table and light a small candle.

"Two hundred years Bae...but for you, where you are...it could be only five...or ten...Time moves differently in this land without magic."

_You coward! You promised! Don't break our deal!_

"I didn't want to Bae...but how could I protect you there...without magic? There are probably far worse dangers in that world that this one, no, I know there are. Becoming the Dark One, taking all this power. I didn't do it for myself. It was for you...it was always for you!" he sobbed. "And I failed you...but I'll make it right. I'll find a way."

He still concentrated on finding a way to be reunited with his son while answering the calls of the desperate souls all across the realm. Zozo had been right about one thing, the Forest was full of them, himself included, and most of the time their demands were far less honorable than his. Nothing angered him more than those who summoned him to relieve them of the burden of another mouth to feed. Although he and Bae barely had enough money he always found ways to keep his son fed, clothed and housed even before he was the Dark One. As the years went on he was noticing that some of people of the Enchanted Forest were starting to become shiftless and lazy, more willing to take the easy way out now that they knew all they had to do was summon the Dark One to make things better. Oh, he did...but his price was not pleasant. As for the children surrendered to him in exchange, he kept them at the Dark Castle until his visions told him in which new home they belonged.

One night while he was at his spinning wheel, once again pondering the issue of how to find his own child, he was given a vision of a young woman at King Xavier's ball, a simple miller's daughter who boasted she could spin straw into gold...yet there was something more to her. He concentrated harder and had his answer. Her child...it would be _her_ child, _her daughter_ that would unite him with his...if she lived past tomorrow. She now stood in a tower room looking out the window...ready to dive into the waters below to escape...only she'd be dead. No, he couldn't let that happen.

He appeared in the tower room behind her, giggling with a piece of straw in his hand. "That's never gonna work. I mean, you'll escape but you'll be dead. Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it?"

"Who are you?"

"Who are _you_?" he asked a bit flirtatiously. She was a pretty one.

"Cora," she answered coldly.

"Not a very pretty name is it? Sounds like something breaking." It was also a derivative of the name Kore, another name that was used to refer to a goddess by the name of Persephone, the queen of the Underworld in this land without magic as he'd learned through his studies of the Ozian texts.

"How did you get in here? If you got in, I can get out," she said excitedly.

"If I understand your situation, this is your way out," he said, pointing at the spinning wheel and sitting down. "And what a marvelous coincidence that spinning straw into gold just so happens to be something that I like to do. It's almost like..like fate."

"Nobody can spin straw into anything and no one can make..."

"Oh, well well would you look at that," he said triumphantly, holding out a piece of newly spun golden thread. She took it in her hand and studied it, stunned to see that it _was_ real gold.

"You want to help me?"

He giggled. "I want you to help _me._ And you will because the future is my gift. Well, in a manner of speaking." _By providing me with the person to cast this curse I need, when I do find it. _

"What could you possibly get from me?" she demanded.

"Funny you should ask, can you read?" he said and waved his hand, conjuring a contract and handing it to her. She perused it and frowned.

"My firstborn child?"

"She is quite important."

"She?"

"Yes. I see the future. Weren't you listening?" he asked impatiently. "Anyway, I only get my payment if you live past tomorrow."

"You can turn all this straw into gold by morning?"

"And you can parade in front of the royals and demand the hand of the dimwitted prince and have them kneel before you. That's what you want eh, you want them to kneel...I..."

"No."

"What?" he asked, stunned.

"Teach me. Don't just do it. Teach me. Make it part of our deal," she suggested with a smile. Oh, she was by far the most fascinating desperate soul he'd ever encountered. He giggled.

"You are a spicy one, aren't you? Oh well. Rumplestiltskin," he said and bowed.

"What?"

"My name. I do believe you just earned it," he answered, waving his hand and amending the contract to include instruction on how to turn the straw into gold herself then removed a quill from his coat. "Now...let's begin."

She made several attempts only to fail miserably, grumbling with frustration. "It's not happening!" she complained.

"You just need to stop thinking about it," he instructed. "Magic is about emotion. Summon up that moment that made you so angry you would've killed if you could."

"You do that?"

"I do." _Most of the time now, anymore. _

"What's your moment?" she inquired softly.

He smiled. "Once a man made me kiss his boots in front of my son. Now in my mind, I go back and I rip out his throat and I crunch his veins with my teeth. And that, dearie, is how magic is made."

"Bloodlust," she said softly. He grinned

"I like the phrase." And he was feeling lust all right...not for blood but for _her_. It had been such a long time since he'd been with a woman who looked at him and didn't see a coward. "Let me help you," he said, asking her to tell him what her moment was and it was similar to his own, being forced to kneel in front of those who thought them her betters. They worked all through the night. Try as she might, the girl simply couldn't make the gold herself.

"They'll kill me!" she cried.

"Maybe not."

"What makes you so confident?"

"The king. You having the ability to spin straw into gold will make him a very rich man. If he's _desperate_ enough perhaps he'll be willing to wait a while longer. Here is what you're going to do..." he said and began instructing her on what she would say and do when the king came for her the following morning. Per Rumple's instructions, the girl was able to gain two more days to complete her task and still producing the gold herself was not easy. Finally Rumple was forced to cast an enchantment spell on the wheel so that it would make the gold for her. On the third day she sat at the wheel before the entire court and spun her way to the prince's hand in marriage though the marriage itself would not take place for another few months. The king wanted to use the riches she'd spun for him to repair the failing kingdom first.

Rumple remained in the shadows by day and at night she came to him to resume her magic lessons. She was not powerful enough to spin straw into gold but she was starting to show promise in other forms of magic. He gave her a book of spells he'd written himself that she could practice casting on her own and reviving his hope that someone could love him again. He believed he felt it when he kissed her yet he dared not make any further advances. Her maidenhead belonged to her husband alone whomever it would be. If she chose him...it would not be much of a life...only darkness and isolation. Finally on the day before the wedding she made her decision. She would leave with him and he amended their contract. She would give him a child, his own...on their wedding day but first...she wanted to punish the king by taking his heart and making him watch while she crushed it.

They agreed to meet in the forest later that night. The hours went by...slowly, increasing his concern when he didn't see her. At last he heard footsteps and she approached with a box in her hands. He turned to her and smiled.

"I was starting to grow concerned."

"Well, here I am."

He placed his hands on her arms and kissed her, sensing a coldness in her that he never had before and backed away. "Something's not right," he said and pointed at her.

"Yes, you're correct," she said, the coldness now in her voice.

"Well, what happened? Couldn't you take the king's heart?" he taunted.

"No I was able to do it. I _chose _not to."

"Ah."

She reached out and touched his cheek, her touch now as cold as the rest of her. What had she done? "I'm sorry my dear Rumple. I'm not going with you. You see, I have a wedding to go to. My own."

"Who's heart is in the box?" he demanded. Surely she wouldn't have...even he couldn't bring himself to do something so callous.

"Don't make this harder..."

"You lied to me! Whose heart?!"

"Mine."

He backed away again, shocked. Didn't she understand the cost of such an act?

"I _had_ to!" she insisted. "You told me not to let anything stop me until they were on their knees. My heart was stopping me."

"You never loved me," he said angrily. "Never! You're not gonna get away with this. We have a contract. I'll take your baby!" he threatened.

"You changed the contract Rumple. You only get your own child. And any baby I have, it won't be yours." she declared.

"We'll see about that, dearie!" he hissed as he glared at her. "You don't understand the cost of what you've done, do you? Removing your own heart will prevent you from loving anyone...including your own daughter! Is that what you want? Because if you cannot love her, she won't love you in return."

"You're wrong. You're just saying these things to make me change my mind."

"No I'm not. You'll see in time. Well, go on then...marry your dimwitted prince and have your baby by him, making the kingdom kneel before you and eventually all the power you seek will be your downfall. Enjoy it while you can," he added before he vanished.

When he returned to his castle he went about searching for anything that reminded him of her and piled it in the ballroom. He conjured a fireball in his hands and tossed it at the pile, watching his hopes once again go up in flames.

_No one will ever love me, _he thought sadly.

A year later word reached him that Princess Cora had just given birth to a daughter, the news he'd been waiting for. He appeared in Xavier's castle while Cora stood before the throne cradling a newborn in her arms.

"Princess Cora. Tell me, daughter, what is her name?" Xavier asked.

"Her name is Regina. For one day she will be queen!" Cora announced proudly as she held her newborn daughter up high, smiling in triumph as the people bowed to the new princess. Rumple watched from the shadows nodding to himself. Indeed this girl would be queen and do what he needed her to do..as long as Cora wasn't around to interfere. And interfere she would for the girl would have the throne Cora sought most of her life. Carrying her daughter in her arms, Cora retreated to her chambers.

"Such a joyous occasion!" Rumple called out, giggling maniacally as he appeared behind her. Cora spun around, her dark eyes blazing with fury.

"Get out of here!" she hissed, cradling her daughter against her chest protectively "You're not taking _my_ daughter from _me._"

"That child should've been mine!" he raged. "You betrayed me. You broke our deal!"

"No I didn't, Rumple. You changed the contract." she reminded him again.

"And what do you have now, dearie? A dimwitted prince for a husband, a line of succession you'll never reach the top of unless you plan on eliminating your predecessors and a daughter who is never going to love you because you don't have a heart to love her," he sneered.

"And I suppose _you_ could? Hah!" Cora spat.

"You forget; I do have a child of my own."

"A child you gave up to keep your power, remember?"

"And I've regretted it ever since just as I regret being foolish enough to believe you loved me! Now give me that child."

"Never!" she hissed, conjuring a fireball and throwing it at him. He caught it in his hand and absorbed it while the infant Regina screamed in fear.

"Never play with fire around a child, dearie," he said angrily and focused with his magic, making the child appear in his arms. He gazed down at her angry face. She screamed for a few seconds more then quieted down, looking up at him. "As I said before you were born, dearie, you are very important to me, not for who you are, but what you'll do for me."

"Give her back!" Cora yelled. "You can give her nothing. I can give her a throne!"

"So you've decided to accomplish your goal with bloodshed after all, have you? Better think about it dearie. It'll come with a price. The question is: are you willing to pay it?"

"I want them all on their knees before me."

"You already got that the day she was born," he reminded her.

"It's not enough. I want them on their knees for the rest of their pathetic lives. And there'll come a day when you'll join them Rumplestiltskin," she threatened.

He giggled. "Confident, aren't we? It'll never happen, dearie."

"Give me back my daughter!"

He ignored her and walked around the room cradling the infant princess in his arms. In the back of his mind he thought he should take the child away and give her to another family. Cora would never be a proper mother to the girl, only try to live her dreams through her. He was distracted by his thoughts so much that he hadn't felt something hit him on the back of the neck. He cursed under his breath as his limbs froze. "Where did you get that?" he growled.

"The important thing is that I _have_ it," Cora said with a smile, stepping in front of him and detaching her daughter from his embrace. She waved her hand and the spell book he'd given her appeared in it. "Quite useful this has turned out to be...it seems that there are quite a few places where Neverland's squid ink can be found. You just have to know where to look."

"Bitch," he hissed. "I should've left you jump off that damned tower."

"Ah, but you didn't. And I told you before: any baby I have won't be yours."

"You may think you've won, but you haven't. Your daughter will be mine and serve my will eventually and you, dear Cora, will learn the price for breaking your deal with me," he cautioned.

"No, what I will have is everything I wanted," Cora said triumphantly as she left the room with her daughter in her arms.

They never spoke again after that day but gossip traveled in the Enchanted Forest, even to the ears of the Dark One. Cora had forgotten one of the most important lessons he'd taught her, all magic came with a price...and she was paying hers, bit by bit. The first strike was when King Xavier's kingdom was conquered by the forces of her rival Princess Eva. With the help of the fairies they trapped the dark sorceress and banished her, her husband and child to a small cottage far away from her own palace, their lands and titles forfeited to the crown. Cora seethed, vowing one day that she would have her revenge. She would take it in the name of her father-in-law, who in spite of their differences had proved to be a fierce ally until he met his end on the battlefield.

In the meantime Rumple watched, and waited and at last he heard the call he'd been waiting centuries for. It had taken years but he'd had all the time in the world to wait.

"Rumple...shstiltskin, I summon thee," Regina said nervously.

"That's not how you say it dearie, but then...you didn't have to say anything," he said as he appeared on a chaise behind her. He could sense the magic dormant inside of her, magic her mother hadn't dared teach her how to use because she feared the girl's powers would exceed her own. It was a well-founded assumption and that would only happen if she allowed him to train her. As long as Cora was around, that would never happen and he now possessed the means to rid himself and the girl of their little problem. He had no use for Wonderland but it would be the perfect place to banish Cora to as only certain portals could travel to that land. Magic hats, looking glasses and a certain rabbit species' holes. On her wedding day Regina presented the gift to her mother. Cora, as if sensing some sort of trap froze her daughter in place, reminding her that she was stuck with her.

Rumple appeared inside the mirror, making a shoving gesture at Regina. It was all she had to do and her problem would be solved...along with his if the girl actually had the courage to do it. He could feel the girl's anger building. She howled with rage and shoved, sending her mother through the portal. The glass shattered.

He decided to wait a bit before he paid Regina another visit. The girl was reluctant to admit it at first but she'd enjoyed having that power and now it was time for him to teach her how to use it. She'd taken the book and the deal was struck. She was now his student.

"Soon Bae, soon." he murmured as he stood in the library at the small shrine he'd made for his boy.

"Bastard!" he heard a familiar voice hiss from a mirror behind him. and turned to see Cora standing in front of a throne in the land known as Wonderland, a crown on her head.

"Well, well it looks you've gotten a throne through bloodshed after all...haven't you?" Rumple asked with a giggle. Cora glared at him through the mirror. "Not the one you wanted but it will have to do, won't it?"

"You gave her the portal that sent me here," she accused. "Why?"

"Because no one breaks a deal with me, dearie. Least of all you. I must find my son and your daughter is the only one who can take me to him...and she will only do that without your interference. And she wanted rid of you. I simply provided her with the means to do so."

"I won't be trapped here forever, Rumple. If she does cast her curse, I'll find a way to escape here _and_ find you in this new land. When I do, your dagger and your power will be mine and I'll have everything I want," she threatened.

"Choose your battles wisely dearie because if you try to fight me again, you won't survive. I'll make certain of it...one way or another," he vowed.

"We'll see," Cora sneered. Rumple threw a tapestry over the mirror and went about covering the rest of them. He would not have Cora or any other mages spying on him again.

**Author's Notes: And in the next chapter let's get ready to Rumbelle! Finally! I would also like to thank Snapegirlkmf for giving me advice on how to handle this chapter. **


End file.
